Why Women Need to Travel Without Their Spouses and Kids
Women who take regular time away tend to be less depressed and less tense, according to research on vacation and women's mental health. Traveling without your spouse or children gives you something most women rarely get: time when nobody needs anything from you. It is a chance to rest, reconnect with who you are outside your roles, and come home with more to give. Wanting that time does not make you a bad wife or a bad mother.
Why Women Rarely Get Real Time Off
For many women, a "family vacation" is just their regular job in a new location. You plan the trip. You pack for everyone. You remember the snacks, the sunscreen, the chargers, and the allergy medicine. You keep track of where everyone is and whether they are happy. You come home needing a vacation from your vacation.
The numbers on everyday life back this up. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics' 2024 American Time Use Survey, on an average day about half of women did housework, compared with about a quarter of men. About 72 percent of women did food preparation and cleanup, compared with about 54 percent of men.
When you carry that much at home, rest rarely happens by accident. It has to be chosen.
What Research Says About Vacations and Women's Mental Health
One of the most cited studies on this topic is the Wisconsin Rural Women's Health Study, published in the Wisconsin Medical Journal in 2005. Researchers surveyed a random sample of 1,500 women in central Wisconsin and compared how often they took vacations with their mental health.
- Women who vacationed only once every two years had nearly twice the odds of depression compared with women who vacationed twice a year or more.
- Women who vacationed once every six years also had about twice the odds of depression.
- Less frequent vacationers had higher odds of tension and were more likely to feel tired.
- Marital satisfaction decreased as vacation frequency decreased.
That last finding is worth sitting with. Women who took time away more often reported happier marriages. Rest benefits you, and it can benefit the people you love too.
The study looked at vacations in general and did not compare solo trips with family trips. What it shows is that regular time away matters for women's wellbeing. If your family trips are mostly work for you, time away on your own may be the only real vacation you get.
Why Travel Without Your Spouse and Kids?
You get to rest without being on duty
When you are not responsible for anyone else's schedule, meals, or moods, your nervous system can finally settle. Many women do not realize how wound up they are until the pressure lifts.
You reconnect with who you are outside your roles
Wife. Mom. Daughter. Employee. Caregiver. When you live inside those roles all day, it is easy to lose track of the woman underneath. Time away gives you space to ask questions you rarely have time for. What do I actually enjoy? What do I want for my life? Who am I when nobody needs me?
You practice choosing yourself
For people-pleasers, planning a trip just for yourself can feel radical. You will probably feel guilty. That guilt is usually a sign you are breaking an old rule that says your needs come last. Booking the trip anyway is a powerful boundary practice.
Your relationships get a reset
Time apart can make you miss each other. Your partner may gain confidence handling things at home. Your kids get to see that their mom is a whole person with her own life and joy. That is a beautiful thing for children, especially daughters, to witness.
You come home with more to give
Rest refills you. You may come back more patient, more creative, and more present. Choosing yourself is one of the ways you keep showing up for the people you love.
"But I Feel Guilty Leaving My Family"
Of course you do. Most of us were raised to believe a good woman puts everyone else first, always. I believed it too. I spent decades checking every box and being who everyone needed me to be, and I can tell you where that leads. A woman who never refills eventually runs dry.
A few things that help with the guilt:
- Name it. Say to yourself, "This is guilt. I am breaking an old rule."
- Remember the research. Regular time away is linked to lower depression and better marriages.
- Start small. A single night away counts. A weekend counts.
- Plan the handoff. Make a simple plan for home, then let your family handle it their way.
- Resist the urge to check in constantly. Set one daily call and give yourself permission to be fully present the rest of the time.
Ways to Travel Without Your Family
- A women's retreat. Built-in structure, community, and support for personal growth.
- A trip with girlfriends. Laughter and connection with women who know you.
- A solo trip. Total freedom to follow your own rhythm.
- A staycation alone. A night in a hotel in your own city still counts as time away.
Retreats can be especially powerful because they combine rest with intentional reflection. You leave with more than a tan. You leave with clarity about your life and support for the changes you want to make.
Give Yourself Permission
You are allowed to want time that belongs only to you. You are allowed to rest before you are completely depleted. You are allowed to be a woman, and not only a role.
If you have been waiting for someone to tell you it is okay, here it is. Go.
Travel With Me: Wonder & Wander Costa Rica 2027
This is the heart of my first international retreat, Wonder & Wander: Costa Rica, built for the Liberated Lesbian community. From April 13 to 19, 2027, a small group of us will travel from San José to the rainforest of La Fortuna near Arenal Volcano and on to the Pacific beaches of Jacó.
- Seven days and six nights with a small group and limited spots
- Hotels, in-country transfers, and daily breakfast included
- A local guide for the entire trip
- A welcome dinner and a farewell dinner to build real connection
The theme is less fixing and more living. You can see the full itinerary, current pricing, and how to reserve your spot on my retreats page.
Common Questions About Women Traveling Without Their Families
Is it okay for moms to travel without their kids?
Yes. Time away can help mothers rest and reconnect with themselves, and research on women's vacations has linked regular time away with lower depression and tension. Children also benefit from seeing their mother as a whole person.
Does taking vacations improve women's mental health?
Research suggests it does. In the Wisconsin Rural Women's Health Study of 1,500 women, those who vacationed less often had higher odds of depression and tension and lower marital satisfaction than women who vacationed twice a year or more.
How do I stop feeling guilty about traveling alone?
Name the guilt as a sign you are breaking an old rule, start with a short trip, make a simple plan for home, and limit check-ins so you can be present. Guilt usually fades as you see that your family is fine and you return refreshed.
What is a good first trip without my family?
A weekend women's retreat, a short trip with friends, or even a solo night in a nearby hotel are all good first steps.
Sources
- Chikani V, Reding D, Gunderson P, McCarty CA. (2005). Vacations improve mental health among rural women: The Wisconsin Rural Women's Health Study. WMJ, 104(6), 20 to 23.
- U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. American Time Use Survey, 2024 results. Released June 26, 2025.
Ready for time that belongs to you?
Join Annie in Costa Rica, April 13 to 19, 2027. Small group, limited spots.
See the Costa Rica Retreat
About Annie M. Henderson
Annie is a life coach, five-time author, podcast host of The Liberated Lesbian Lounge, and Expert Facilitator in RIM. She holds a BA in Psychology from Austin College and master's degrees in Education, School Counseling, and Professional Counseling. She spent 15 years in public education as a teacher and school counselor and was previously a Licensed Professional Counselor. She helps women break free from people-pleasing and build boundaries that hold, and shares this work with 118K+ followers on TikTok.
Annie is also the author of Later in Life Lesbian, Women with ADHD, Boundaries in Ink, The Liberation Year, and The Liberation Year Journal. Find her books on Amazon.